Scout First Aid

Issue 1 and Volume 110.

First aid doesn’t have to be complicated. These pearls of wisdom will address many worrisome situations.

  1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto, the blockage will almost instantly be removed.
  2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
  3. For high blood pressure sufferers: Cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
  4. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. [Not really first aid-related until after you wake up.]
  5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. You’ll then be afraid to cough.
  6. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Click here to enlarge image


A final riddle: What are the only two tools you will ever need?

WD-40 and duct tape.
If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.