The Handyman’s Credo

Issue 10 and Volume 109.

Ten-step guide to being handy around the house.

  1. If you can’t find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it’s an improved screwdriver.
  2. Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any help.
  3. Above all, if what you’ve done is stupid, but it works, then it isn’t stupid.
  4. Work in the kitchen whenever you can. Many fine tools are there, it’s warm and dry, and you are close to the refrigerator.
  5. If it’s electronic, get a new one, or consult a 12-year old.
  6. Stay simple-minded. Get a new battery; replace the bulb or fuse; see if the tank is empty; try turning the switch on; or just paint over it.
  7. Always take credit for miracles. If you dropped the alarm clock while taking it apart and it suddenly starts working, you have healed it.
  8. Regardless of what people say, kicking, pounding, and throwing sometimes does help.
  9. If something looks level, it is level.
  10. If at first you don’t succeed, re-define success.