Physics of Dark-Part I

Issue 2 and Volume 104.

For years, electric utility companies have led the public to believe they were in business to supply electricity to the consumer, a service for which they charge a substantial rate. The recent accidental acquisition of secret records from a well-known power company has led to a massive research campaign which positively exposes the massive hoax that has been perpetrated upon the public by the power companies.

The most common hoax promoted the false concept that light bulbs emitted light; in actuality, these “light” bulbs actually absorb dark, which is then transported back to the power generation stations via wire networks. Herein we introduce the darksucker theory, which proves the existence of dark and establishes the fact that dark has great mass, and further, that the dark particle (the anti-photon) is the fastest known particle in the universe. Apparently, even the celebrated Dr. Albert Einstein did not suspect the truth, that just as cold is the absence of heat, light is actually the absence of dark. Scientists have now proven that light does not really exist!

The basis of the darksucker theory is that electric light bulbs suck dark. Take, for example, the darksuckers in the room where you are right now. There is much less dark right next to the darksuckers than there is elsewhere, demonstrating their limited range. The larger the darksucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Darksuckers in a parking lot or on a football field have a much greater capacity than the ones used in the home, for example.

It may come as a surprise to learn that darksuckers also operate on a celestial scale; witness the sun. Our sun makes use of dense dark, sucking it in from all the planets and intervening dark space. Naturally, the sun is better able to suck dark from the planets situated closer to it, thus explaining why those planets appear brighter than those farther from the sun.

Occasionally, the sun actually oversucks; under those conditions, dark spots appear on the surface of the sun. Scientists have long studied these “sunspots” and are only recently beginning to realize that the dark spots represent leaks of high pressure dark because the sun has oversucked dark to such an extent that some dark actually leaks back into space. This leakage of high pressure dark frequently causes problems with radio communications here on Earth due to collisions between the dark particles as they stream out into space at high velocity via the black “holes” in the surface of the sun.

As with all manmade devices, darksuckers have a finite lifetime caused by the fact that they are not 100 percent efficient at transmitting collected dark back to the power company via the wires from your home, causing dark to build up slowly within the device. Once they are full of accumulated dark, they can no longer suck. This condition can be observed by looking for the black spot on a full darksucker when it has reached maximum capacity of untransmitted dark. You have surely noticed that dark completely surrounds a full darksucker because it no longer has the capacity to suck any dark at all.

A candle is a primitive darksucker. A new candle has a white wick. After its first use, however, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, the tip will turn black because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. It is of no use to plug a candle into an electrical outlet; it can only collect dark…it has no transmission capabilities. Unfortunately, these primitive darksuckers have a very limited range and are hazardous to operate because of the intense heat produced.

The darksuckers on your automobile are high-capacity units with great range; thus they require much larger dark storage units mounted under the hood. Since there is far more dark available in the winter season, automobile dark storage units reach capacity more frequently than they do in the summer, requiring “recharging,” or in severe cases, total replacement.

[Submitted by Power Engineering reader Randy Watt.]